The first Taco Bell Triathlon just happened — there were five people
How to turn a fast food chain into an endurance event? In an unofficial "triathlon," they celebrated with Crunchwraps and slushie cheers.
By Courtney Muro
Chasing a triathlon in a car isn’t as easy as it sounds. We spent the first part of the day driving from Taco Bell to Taco Bell, photographing every group of cyclists we saw on the route, hoping it was our people.
To call it a triathlon is more than a stretch. One day I stumbled on this Partiful event that describes more of a Meetup from 2004, but tl;dr — “Let’s eat tacos and try to not freeze in the Pacific Ocean!” No sponsors. A suggested participation fee at $25. Taco Bell did not endorse this, but it’s also not the first time its poop-inducing crunchy cheese medley has inspired a weird pairing with athletics in San Francisco.
Fun? Sure. Athletic? Debatable. For me, nothing says “endurance” like chasing strangers and tacos in a 12-hour Bay Area fever dream.
We pulled up to the Daly City location, where they should have already stopped, hoping to get a gauge on how far ahead they were. I jumped out and ran to the counter — “hey, did the triathlon people get here yet?” I asked. The young girl behind the counter stopped in her tracks, a large tray of tacos in her hand, and stared at me wide-eyed. Frightened. Because the last thing you want to hear when you work at a 400 square foot Taco Bell with 3 barstools is that a triathlon is planning on coming through. An almost undetectable lateral head movement signaled to me that they had not yet come through.
My team was starting to doubt me and to be honest I was losing faith in myself. Did I dream that this was happening? Maybe I had the wrong date? I know it got postponed once already due to the weather. But it was sunny now. I checked the X post schedule for the 20th time: Pacifica, Daly City, Sunset, Richmond, Tenderloin, Mission Bay.
Alright, change of plans.
I made an executive decision to cut out the Sunset Taco Bell, where they should be right now, and post up at the Richmond one until they arrived.
When we pulled up there were 2 other people with cameras. One was Channel 5 and had not been able to locate the triathletes either. “It’s kind of a wild goose chase,” he said.
The other turned out to be Grant Fok, photojournalism student and friend of the triathlon orchestrator. Fok told me that the triathlon did in fact exist and that there were 50 participants, but that they were running a few hours late. On a tight schedule with other deadlines, I decided the best course of action was to go home and catch them at the finish line, which would make for better photos with all the pomp and circumstance that usually accompanies triathlon finish lines.
A few hours later I walked into Taco Bell Cantina Mission Bay to find four sweaty but spritely guys in ragtag race gear (one wearing a ridiculous taco hat) ordering Crunchwrap Supremes, Twisted Freezes, IPAs, and whiskey shots.
“Are you guys the first ones? Did you win??” I asked
They squinted and told me yes, they were the first ones, with an inflection that implied that they were answering my question with a question.
“Great. Where’s everyone else?”
“Uh, well there’s one guy left, and he’s right behind us.”
One guy left… I did some quick math on my left hand. Yep. 4+1 = 5. I had misheard Fok. It was a 5-person triathlon, not 50. The brainchild of Virginia-born, Bay Area-based serial entrepreneur and adventurer, Elliot Roth, this event was completely grass roots and unofficial.
“Okay, let me get this straight,” I processed the situation aloud. “You organized a triathlon based around Taco Bell locations with the official tri distance, posted it on Twitter and LinkedIn, rented a Uhaul, and actually went through with it.”
“Yeah it was great. Beautiful day!” said Roth.
“And from where do you guys know each other?”
“We met today.”
“So this is five strangers. Then how did you guys find out about it then?” I asked the rest of the group.
Third-place triathlete, Jake Keller responded, “I actually saw it posted on Elliot’s LinkedIn — like the best Linkedin post ever.”
“This is just me wanting to do something ridiculous for the sake of being ridiculous and uh, eating a lot of tacos,” says Roth.
Roth is one of those people who has ideas, doesn’t care how insane they sound, and isn’t bothered by the amount of work it takes to make them happen. He also doesn’t care if it’s for work or for play — goals are goals.
I asked about the logistics of the race, wondering how much they trained and how doable it turned out to be. Did they actually eat Taco Bell 5 times during a single triathlon?
Roth told me the swim was choppy, rough, and cold. But fun.
“Do you normally swim?” I asked
“I know how.” Roth replied, laughing as he cheersed his new bestie, Caleb Roark of Knoxville TN, with a 12-inch slushie alcoholic drink, served only at Taco Bell Cantinas.
“The bike ride in Pacifica was intense. Straight up like 1,000 feet, but it’s the best bike ride you can do because you go along the Great Highway.”
I asked if anyone threw up or shit their pants. “I wanted to but I didn’t,” said Roth.
“I almost did. That second Taco Bell I was close,” echoed Roark, “but some people are just built different.”
Just then the 5th triathlete crossed the finish line (the Taco Bell Cantina Mission Bay door) in sandals and a bowstaff. Apparently, despite Roth’s instructions to bring a wetsuit and proper gear, which would include close-toe shoes to say the least, Ben showed up with no wetsuit, sandals, and a bowstaff. And completed the entire triathlon as so.
I inquired about the menu choices made that day. What’s the best Taco Bell item to eat before you bike 40 kilometers and run 10? Roth told me he ate a different item at each of the five locations, as that was part of the experience.
I asked what inspired the Taco Bell aspect of the tri. Why not In-n-Out? (which would have been my preference).
“I was living on a diet of mostly Taco Bell for a time,” said Roth, “because it really is like, the only affordable food in San Francisco. The calories per dollar — the CPD — is off the charts!” he laughs.
I asked if this was a one-off event to which Roth replied, “This was like a pilot. It’s gonna be official next year. Potentially. And we might even do it again in a few months.”
Roth told me that organizing a triathlon is actually quite low-lift. “We threw this together in like a month,“ he said.
The triathlon was the official tri distance, although they cut part of the run short in the end since they were running a bit late — to be expected when you stop and dine at 5 Taco Bell locations during a race.
I asked about permitting and all the other costs and responsibilities (for example blocking off streets) that would accompany the event if it became official, with potential sponsors or as a team effort with Taco Bell.
“Yeah, probably, but the course itself actually is one of the most beautiful.”
Roth will cross that bridge when he comes to it. For now, his grassroots triathlon lives on in the memories of five strangers who pushed their bodies to the limit in the name of fast food tacos and absurdity. There were no trophies, sponsorships, or fanfare — just the satisfaction of doing something wildly impractical for the sheer joy of it. If Elliot does organize a second triathlon honoring the beloved fast food chain, I hope that Taco Bell steps up to the plate and reciprocates the love.
Courtney Muro is a San Francisco-based content strategist, producer, designer, and creator.
The Bold Italic publishes first-person stories on topics that are on the brains and lips of San Franciscans. We’re a hub for conversations to be heard and discussed, and we celebrate all that’s great about living in San Francisco and the Bay Area. We hope our continuing conversation will get you thinking, talking, and inspiring you to share your opinions with us on living in San Francisco.
You can help us celebrate our home by making a tax-deductible donation through our Flipcause page. We can also take stock, and Donor Advised Fund donations. We are partnered with Independent Arts & Media, a 501(c)(3).
What we’re doing this week
Beetlejuice onstage
The Beetlejuice stage production, based on Tim Burton’s cult classic film, is heading to San Francisco for a limited run. Known for its quirky humor, impressive visuals, and an energetic score, the musical tells the story of Lydia Deetz, a teenager whose life becomes intertwined with a mischievous ghost and a pair of recently deceased spirits. With a blend of sharp wit and over-the-top antics, the show has earned a reputation as a darkly funny theatrical experience.
WHEN: December 24–29, 2024
WHERE: Golden Gate Theatre, 1 Taylor St, San Francisco, CA 94102
A Charlie Brown Christmas
Celebrate the holiday season with a special screening of A Charlie Brown Christmas at San Francisco's historic 4-Star Theater. This cherished 1965 animated special follows Charlie Brown, Snoopy, and the Peanuts gang as they uncover the true meaning of Christmas, accompanied by Vince Guaraldi's timeless jazz score. The 4-Star Theater, known for its eclectic film selections and community-focused events, offers a cozy setting to enjoy this classic tale.
WHEN: December 22, 2024, 10 AM to 7:30 PM
WHERE: 4-Star Theater, 2200 Clement Street, San Francisco, CA 94121