Latex, lightsabers, and laughs: ‘The Empire Strips Back’ in SF
It’s as if the universe mashed together classical moves with the wackiest burlesque in the galaxy. Come see Princess Leia in a bikini and hair buns.
By Saul Sugarman
I never thought I’d see the day when Darth Vader and Princess Leia took it all off for bridesmaids and Chinatown tourists. But that’s what you get at The Empire Strips Back, where the real force isn’t the Death Star — it’s spandex, disco mirrors, and boobs.
The burlesque parody is the brainchild of Australian producer Russall S. Beattie, who started it as a cheeky one-night experiment back in 2011 — but nowadays it feels like everyone knows about it. Events company Fever seems to gobble up all sorts of performers who didn’t quite make it to Cirque du Soleil, giving us Instagrammable shows like candlelight concerts, Bridgerton balls, and Princess Leia in a bikini and hair buns. Fun? Yes. Incredible? No, but still worth a $40 ticket.
Sitting in the Great Star Theater a week ago, I wondered when these dancers’ careers took a hard left from Juilliard into lightsabers. You could see the technical skill in every move — the high kicks, the precise spins — but instead of Swan Lake, they were decked out in latex as stormtroopers, grinding to a beat that would make Yoda blush. It was as if the universe decided to mash up classical training with the wackiest burlesque in the galaxy, and somehow, it worked.
Sure, the costumes were sometimes a little DIY, and there were parts where the line between sexy and silly blurred a little too much. Take an early moment with a scantily-clad woman trying to give us full Jennifer Beals in her Flashdance bucket moment that’s supposed to be like:
Instead The Empire Strips Back served more like a hovercraft sponge bath from a salad bowl, which the dancer dips her head in and gives us a few hair flips.
Some other scenes were fantastic though, like a gigantic Jabba the Hutt serving animatronic realness while women stripped down and danced around him. It’s a coin flip who won the night between that and a wrinkly old and naked Palpatine getting up on a Death Star that’s been done over in disco mirrors, swinging around to Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball.
The music felt like a ton of Millennial and OG favorites, including Starships by Nicki Minaj, Need You Tonight by INXS, Sabotage by Beastie Boys, It’s Tricky by Run DMC, Mr. Boombastic by Shaggy, Anaconda by Nicki Minaj, and Wannabe by Spice Girls. The latter five songs all came from Chewbacca, who came out sporting a classic bandolier and mostly jumped around without taking anything off.
My only real negative was too many boobs — but to each his own there, I think. Empire Strips Back transformed a lot of sexless stormtroopers into busty dancers; Luke also never appears, and Darth Vader becomes a woman along with C3PO. I suppose that last one was always a robot and never really a man, and I did love how they peeled back the dancer’s robo-skeleton to reveal a white spandex suit with light-up body parts.
Is this the show for you? Probably. Watching Darth Vader strut to a sultry beat while stormtroopers shook what their mama gave them was the kind of ridiculousness that just keeps you entertained. The show didn’t take itself seriously, and that’s where it found its charm.
What struck me most wasn’t the absurdity (though there was plenty of that) but how much the audience was into it. Bridesmaids with veils screamed with laughter, and more than a few hardcore Star Wars fans were perched on the edge of their seats, waiting for their favorite characters to make an appearance. It felt like the kind of campy spectacle you can only get in a place like San Francisco, where nothing’s too weird, and every subculture finds a home — even burlesque stormtroopers.
Per usual I caught on this bandwagon pretty late: The Empire Strips Back is only in town a few more days. After that, you’ll have to wish upon a Death Star for its return.
Saul Sugarman is editor in chief of The Bold Italic.
The Bold Italic publishes first-person stories on topics that are on the brains and lips of San Franciscans. We’re a hub for conversations to be heard and discussed, and we celebrate all that’s great about living in San Francisco and the Bay Area. We hope our continuing conversation will get you thinking, talking, and inspiring you to share your opinions with us on living in San Francisco.
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What we’re doing this week
Diplo Run
Diplo’s Run Club is bringing a wild mix of cardio and chaos to San Francisco's Embarcadero on September 8, 2024—and if history is any indication, this won’t be your typical 5K. The Grammy-winning DJ, never one to shy away from a spectacle, famously ran the Los Angeles Marathon in 2023 while, in his own words, “tripping on LSD.” While he admitted the first few miles were a breeze, things got dicey as the race dragged on. So, expect his upcoming event to carry that same unpredictable energy, minus the hallucinogens (maybe?).
WHEN: Sunday, September 8, 2024, starting at 9:00 AM
WHERE: Embarcadero, with the starting point near Pier 30 and 32.
Also coming up
Get ready for a glitzy night of cocktails, great views, and a solid cause with Party for the Parks on September 21, 2024, at China Basin Park. Sip a cool drink while looking out over Oracle Park and the Bay—no better backdrop for a picnic-style dinner and a bit of dancing. The event runs from 6 to 10 PM, so you'll have plenty of time to soak it all in without feeling rushed.
What makes it even better is that every ticket supports the San Francisco Parks Alliance, a nonprofit working to keep the city’s parks and public spaces vibrant. Whether it’s building new playgrounds or putting on free outdoor events, they’re behind a lot of what makes SF’s parks great.
WHEN: Sept. 21 from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m.
WHERE: 1 China Basin Park, San Francisco, California 94107